Can You Relate?

Can You Relate?, a photo by Zee Anna! on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
I'm very far behind in Project SoulPancake. I'm just now catching up on Week Three while everyone else is already on Week Nine. I'm far behind on my journey to help develop my soul, and I've been left behind. Sometimes I hate when life gets in the way of my creativity.

There have been moments in the past 6 weeks that I have felt that I'd rather have someone punch me really hard then to deal with those issues. Life is handing me so much more than I thought I can handle, and my priorities have been shaken.

School or work? Photography or a real job? The realization that I am an adult now and have responsibilities freaks me out. The idea that all my friends are getting married or having children freaks me out. I feel like I'm being left behind while everyone else is "growing up".

I felt really depressed last week. I'm better now but it lasted a few days. It was the feeling of emptiness and the feeling of being "good enough".

I felt this feeling after the awesome wedding I shot last Saturday with Audrey Snow Photography.

At first I didnt know why I was so depressed and upset. Why all of a sudden I hated all of my photos, all of my photography and I hated seeing other people's work because I felt that I sucked so badly I should just stop doing photography altogether. And then I realized why I was feeling that way...

I felt empty because I did not get to edit my photos, I was not able to fulfill my creative need.

There was always this question: are you a photographer for the sake of shooting, or the process of the image?

I realized that I was a photographer for the entire process. When I have an idea in my head, I want to see it executed from when the shutter clicks to delivery. It was very hard for me to get over this boulder in the road until I realized exactly why I was feeling the way I felt.

Strange, I've hired second shooters before where I personally took their RAW files and edited them myself for my clients. I wonder if they felt the empty feelings I did.

What do you guys think? Let me know I want to know your thoughts!